he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
