I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
