the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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