just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
