Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize