R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
