So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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