Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
