It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
