do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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