how do flat chested girls get laid?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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