I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
