K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
