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it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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