Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
