just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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