and she was petting her beer can
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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