when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
