So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
