I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
