Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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