i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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