I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And then my night got REAL pukey
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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