did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
