remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
