I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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