he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
