break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
