the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
