Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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