I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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