I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
