Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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