i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my being single is dangerous.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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