Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
