Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
