If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
