we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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