i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
