If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
