We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Is it because I queefed?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
