HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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