apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
