oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
