Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
