I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
