im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
