Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
