yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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