i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
